My kids thrive on praise. They absolutely light up when we tell them how well they have done. It’s a wonderful feeling to be told you’ve done a great job and it’s so important for children to feel good about themselves.
Focusing on the Positive
There have been times when I found myself having to say no to my kids a lot, for doing things they aren’t supposed to do. It really brings me and the kids down when that would happen.
So, instead, I started trying to give more positive than negative input to my kids each day. This was challenging on those days when everything seemed to go wrong and I felt like no one was listening to me. But, I made a point of praising them for the good things they were doing, rather than constantly focusing on the negative behaviors. As a result, I found they listened & behaved much better.
Some of the things I praise my children for are being good to each other, sharing, thinking of someone else, being kind, being generous, for putting away their school bags, shoes & coats, and for helping me.
I also encourage my children by praising their abilities. Such as doing well in school, being artistic, athletic, generous, etc. I praise them each for their natural talents. Every child has her own strengths to be encouraged.
By speaking more about the positive than the negative, it helps the kids to realize how good they are and it subconsciously promotes the good, positive behaviour. And by focusing on their strengths it helps them to feel confident and good about what they can do.
Encouraging Calm
There are times when stress can get the better of both adults and children alike. There are ways to gently encourage calm while staying encouraging and supportive. Essential oils are ideal for stress and for helping children with ADHD and/or Autism to find calm. One of my favourite oils is on the list, Frankincense Oil – it helps with concentration and the scent is divine.
Having daily activity helps my kids to be calmer because they are letting their energy out. We have limited technology use in our house so the kids enjoy lots of time being imaginative and being outside.
I also talk to my kids about taking a deep breath and about focusing on positivity rather than worries or stress. I also encourage them to talk about anything that bothers them so we can work it out and go back to focusing on good things.
My kids have responded so well to praising their efforts and encouraging calm, which means I can cut down on the nagging. That makes for a happy mommy & kiddies!
