I’m just back from Dublin. I was a finalist for best parenting blog and I attended the awards ceremony on Friday. I will put together a video so you can see the day. But for now, I want to write about my thoughts and feelings about not winning the award and what I have learned from them.
The mix of negative and positive feelings from losing has really opened my eyes. And made me realize the daily choice I make to choose positivity. It has also made me determined to focus more on my positivity posts like this one. And, to finally create the Facebook community centered around positivity which I’ve been wanting to make for a long time.
So first, a little background… this is my fourth time being a finalist for a blog award. Last year I was a finalist for two and this year I was a finalist for two. I didn’t expect to win this award because the competition was so tough with award-winning top bloggers in the mix of finalists. But it would have been nice to win, of course. 😉
Always a bridesmaid, never a bride…
Some of my feelings that surfaced since I didn’t win the award were those of loss, inadequacy, envy among thoughts of putting myself down. I clearly am not good enough. I’m not doing things right or as well as the other bloggers I was with who have won several awards.
I’ve been nominated and a finalist several times and still no win. Does what I write even matter? Does anyone really care if I continue blogging or not?
I’m always the bridesmaid and never the bride.
I think those emotions are natural and human. I think anyone would feel that way.
The question is, do I stay swimming around in these mucky feelings. Do I splash around and really wallow in self-pity and self-hate? Do I focus on these negative feelings and let them run my mind & heart?
I have spent plenty of time in these low places in the past and since I started making the choice to have a positive mindset, I can really feel the difference between being in a positive vs negative place. That negative place is not somewhere I want to be. I want to be in that positive space.
Making the decision to choose positivity
I often talk about having a positive mindset. And how the mind controls your life, how you feel about yourself and about others. Your mindset is what creates your life.
But what exactly does it mean to have a positive mindset anyway? For me… A positive Mindset comes from Making a Conscious & Continuous Decision to Choose Positivity.
Let’s break that down.
A conscious decision means you are paying attention to your thoughts and emotions. You are aware of them, and when your thoughts go to a negative place, you notice, and a little alarm goes off. Ding – ding – ding!! This is a negative place, let’s get out the negative thoughts and put positivity back into the mind.
This type of thinking is continuous because we are faced with difficult situations every day. It’s not like you can choose positivity once and that’s it. That would be really nice actually but life doesn’t work that way. Stuff is always happening that causes us to question ourselves and others.
Every time something happens we have a choice of how to think and feel. It’s human to go to the negative place but you don’t have to stay there. Make the conscious & continuous decision to choose positivity in these situations. Keep your mindset positive.
When I move from negative to positive thoughts, it feels like a weight is lifted. Or like I’m out of the negative sticky mud and into a peaceful clear blue sea of positivity.
When the winner was announced…
When the award winner was announced I was honestly delighted for my friend who won. She truly deserves the award. She has a wonderful community around her and her blog brings happiness to so many people.
While I did have the negative feelings I talked about above, I also had the positive feelings of love, happiness, and gratitude. I am very grateful to have made the final to four blog awards. I am grateful to my community for voting for me and for the kind comments people have been sending me.
When the negative thoughts come in, I choose to focus on the positive instead.
I am making a conscious and continued decision moment by moment to choose positivity. Not to judge myself or others. And to not focus on whether or not others judge me.
Honestly, it doesn’t always work. I get angry and frustrated and lose the cool sometimes. But I have found that the more I focus on positivity the less that happens. And when it does happen, I am able to bounce back to a positive place much easier and faster.
I don’t dwell on situations or people that have upset me. I find I can move on easier.
24 Hour No Complaint Challenge
I started my blog with the aim to spread positivity. Along the way, I started working with brands and at times when I am busy I have lost sight of my own goals and own message on Cuddle Fairy.
I have been wanting to run another 24 Hour No Complaint Challenge for months but keep not getting around to it.
I think this is the perfect time to go for it! I’ve never felt so focused or so aware of what it means to make the decision to be positive, to have a positive mindset.
The challenge is simiply to not complain for 24 hours. That means no gossiping or giving out about people, places or situations. And not thinking badly about yourself either.
I took my first challenge about four years ago and it was the first time I started to focus on a positive mindset. I couldn’t believe how many times my mind went to a complaint in 24 hours. The challenge made me aware of my thoughts and that was the first step to choosing a positive mindset. If you’d like, you can read more about it on my 24 Hour No Complaints post from 2016.
I ran a no complaints challenge nearly two years ago and a lot of the people who took part were moved by it. You can read about my & their experiences in my – Day of Positivity post.
I ran it on Twitter that time and ironically that was the day Twitter went down! What were the chances? I think it was an extra challenge for no complaints day!
During the challenge, I shared positive quotes on Twitter & groups of 5 were together to encourage each other and discuss how the challenge was going for them.
This time around, I have created a Facebook community where we can all share the experience together. The community will be a positive space with like-minded people where we can support each other and hold a positive space for each other.
This challenge will just be a starting point for the positive support we can give each other in the group. I hope you will join my new community, and give positivity a try.
A positive mindset is what tells us to try, to go for it, to live without regrets. Don’t worry about failures, think about the chances you miss when you don’t even try. Then go try.
Click Here to join my Facebook community. For more positivity, you can follow me here…
I love this idea – I like to think I’m pretty positive but I still often find myself complaining about something … usually myself!
Good on you for your honesty – it takes courage to expose your vulnerabilities and many will relate. You seem to have a massive community of support so keep doing what you’re doing as there obviously are many who love what you do. Best wishes from Jersey x
Complaining about ourselves is so common and I for one didn’t notice I was doing it until I started to pay attention. Thanks for your lovely comment and encouragement, I really appreciate it xx
I think you should be immensely proud to have been nominated for those awards – but you’re right about the human part of us wanting the big win! I’ve just started a 30 day No Complaints challenge – it’s interesting to see how many negative thoughts swim around in my head and definitely a challenge to not let them come out of my mouth (even when I try to justify them as “observations” and not “complaints”!
That’s it – we do justify our thoughts, I do the same. A 30 day challenge is wonderful. I’m hoping to keep adding days onto the 24 hour challenge – the first one I did we went to five days. The more you do the more it becomes your permanent mindset! x
I love this! Our mindset really does set the tone for how we perceive everything. #BloggerClubUK
I love that you’ve written this. I think the biggest thing to combat negativity is the positive vibes from yourself and so many people refuse to believe this. They believe that it’s out of their control. I’m a really positive person and I know it comes easier to me than other people but that’s just because I’ve been doing it longer. It takes practice. But as soon as you allow too much airtime to the negative feelings they continue to creep into your mindset. Well done for being nominated and well done for taking the positives.
That’s true it really does take time & practice, daily practice. And then it starts to be habit and get easier 🙂 Thanks for your lovely comment x
Well congratulations on being one of the best blogs!! That is such an incredible achievement. I agree, negativity sucks life away so what’s the point in it?! xx #BloggerClubUK
Really like this post and the 24 hour challenge sounds interesting, I think I am going to give it a go. During November I’m running a #SMSelfLoveClub on my blog and will share this as I think focusing on positivity can really help how you feel
#bloggerclubuk
24 hours would be biting off more I can chew, but I like the concept. Maybe I can see if I can get through a morning without my kids driving me bonkers!
The thing with awards is that there can only be one winner. The fact you were a finalist says a lot about your blogging talent, so I’m glad you can see the positives.
#bloggerclubuk
Love! I think every once in awhile we need to constantly reassess why we write and what our goals for the blog are. You’ve stuck to yours, in spreading joy and positivity so kudos to you! Don’t let the awards bog you down, keep looking at the big picture and creating an impact 😉
Such a great message here. I’m sorry you didn’t win, you certainly do deserve to win an award for your blog, it’s absolutely one of my favourites and I love your positivity message that runs throughout it. It will soon be your time! I’m going to attempt your challenge, although I am terrible for complaining. Will give it a good try though. X. #bloggerclubuk
This is a great idea, I’m usually a really positive person but ive just returned to work full time and feel like im complaining all the time! Need this motivation to be more positive #bloggerclubuk
Sometimes it can be so hard to see the positive. When you take a step back you realise how lucky you are. #bloggerclubuk
Hi, great idea I am not sure that I would last 24 hours but I would be willing to give it a try, I need to be more positive and stop moaning #bloggerclubuk
I’m with you! I hate negativity and try my hardest to be positive as much as I can. In fact, those days when the negativity beats you, and it does sometimes, those days scare my husband, he feels if I’m actually being negative about something then it genuinely must be an actual disaster! #bloggerclubuk
24h of no complaints is a great idea. Sounds like a good challenge, as you say, to really make you focus on the positives. #BloggerClubUK
24h of no complaints is a good idea, and a great challenge. Will let you know how I get on. #BloggerClubUK
I like the idea of 24 hours of no complaints, I’m definitely going to give that a try. If nothing else I’ll be able to laugh at myself every time a negative thought enters my head! #bloggerclubuk
Thanks hun. This is exactly what I needed to read today. I know you’re talking about blogs but on a wider scope I reminded of how the day can look if I have a positive attitude and choose this path and I’ve had a crappy day. #BloggersClubUK
I really needed to read this post today. After a rubbish day at work followed by taking my 2.5 yo for her flu vax, I was feeling a bit jaded. But this has made me realise that I’ll feel down for as long as I let myself. Here’s to positivity #BloggerClubUK
I love the honesty of this! I think on the whole I’m pretty positive, but I could definitely benefit from a day of no complaints! #BloggerClubUK
I really don’t know if I can do it for a whole 24 hours but will give it a go! #bloggerclubuk
Sorry to read that you didn’t win but can still see positives that you can learn from. #BloggerClubUK
This is a great post. I’ve just joined your new group and really hoping it helps me move into a more positive mindset in general. Cx
This is such a good idea – life’s challenges can sometimes mean you forget the positives, but they’re so important 🙂