How to Start Healing After a Divorce

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Any break-up can be difficult to deal with and recover from, whether it be a romantic parting or a split between family or friends. When it comes to divorce, there is the added legal aspects as well as dividing assets, and deciding how to share parenting responsibilities.

It takes time and effort to recover emotionally, mentally and energetically after a divorce. Here are five tips to help you start that healing process.

Get Closure

Finding closure is important after a divorce, change of job or any type of ending that you may experience. The first obvious step is to finalize the divorce papers themselves, with the assistance of top divorce lawyers in London.

Having the legalities finalised will be the first big step in your healing journey because it will allow you to begin to separate into your own space in a mental, emotional and energetic sense.

Allow yourself to feel your emotions

So often, we can find ourselves not addressing or feeling our own emotions. We pick up this habit as kids or as a coping mechanism during relationships that can be challenging. So instead of feeling how we feel, we stuff the feelings down inside of us. Or we get in the habit of throwing the feelings out at others by lashing out at them. Both of these methods are ways of subconsciously avoiding feeling our own emotions.

You can begin to embrace your emotions by taking note of them when they come to the surface. So you observe the feelings as they come - I feel angry, I feel lonely, I feel discouraged, I feel joy, and so on. With each feeling, embrace it and give it love. You do this by seeing the emotion there with you and imagining you accept it and give it love.

You can also journal your emotions by writing them into a notebook. Do this without judging yourself or telling yourself that you shouldn't be feeling this way. This practice is to allow your emotions to start to flow without judgment or restriction.

We have to know how we feel before we can make any changes, so coming to self-awareness is a big first step in any healing process.

Meditate or sit in calm

Another coping mechanism we can develop is staying busy. That keeps us away from the thoughts in our heads and the feelings in our hearts. In order to start healing, we need to sit in calm or in meditation so that we can begin to understand and work with ourselves.

If meditating appeals to you, you can find lots of simple meditations you can follow on YouTube, or use my affirmation meditation video if you are a beginner.

Another option is to simply sit in calm and quiet. That can be driving the car without the radio on so you can be with yourself. Or sitting on the couch without the television on. It doesn't have to be any official meditation, just allowing yourself time with you to process, unwind and allow.

Stop shoulding yourself

Yet another coping mechanism we develop without realising it, is "shoulding" ourselves. This is where we tell ourselves in our own minds what we should and should not be doing. This shoulding comes from what we think others will expect of us. Which is something that at the end of the day, we are really just guessing and assuming anyway.

It will feel like lifting a ton of weight off of yourself when you stop telling yourself what you should and should not do. And start to do what you want to do, what resonates with you and honouring your thoughts and emotions through your actions.

Release yourself energetically

When we separate from a partner, there is often energetic baggage that we take with us. This dense energy can contribute to our replaying things over and over in our minds. Or it can hold us in a state of lower emotions.

Working on releasing old energies from your field will greatly assist you on your journey of self-healing. Cutting old cords of energy between yourself and people or places that don't serve you in your life anymore is a great way of doing this. As well as clearing your home and aura using sage, crystals or intention.

I wish you the best of luck on your healing journey. Much love and blessings to you. x

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