I’m just back from Dublin. I was a finalist for best parenting blog and I attended the awards ceremony on Friday. I will put together a video so you can see the day. But for now, I want to write about my thoughts and feelings about not winning the award and what I have learned from them.
The mix of negative and positive feelings from losing has really opened my eyes. And made me realize the daily choice I make to choose positivity. It has also made me determined to focus more on my positivity posts like this one. And, to finally create the Facebook community centered around positivity which I’ve been wanting to make for a long time.
So first, a little background… this is my fourth time being a finalist for a blog award. Last year I was a finalist for two and this year I was a finalist for two. I didn’t expect to win this award because the competition was so tough with award-winning top bloggers in the mix of finalists. But it would have been nice to win, of course. 😉
Always a bridesmaid, never a bride…
Some of my feelings that surfaced since I didn’t win the award were those of loss, inadequacy, envy among thoughts of putting myself down. I clearly am not good enough. I’m not doing things right or as well as the other bloggers I was with who have won several awards.
I’ve been nominated and a finalist several times and still no win. Does what I write even matter? Does anyone really care if I continue blogging or not?
I’m always the bridesmaid and never the bride.
I think those emotions are natural and human. I think anyone would feel that way.
The question is, do I stay swimming around in these mucky feelings. Do I splash around and really wallow in self-pity and self-hate? Do I focus on these negative feelings and let them run my mind & heart?
I have spent plenty of time in these low places in the past and since I started making the choice to have a positive mindset, I can really feel the difference between being in a positive vs negative place. That negative place is not somewhere I want to be. I want to be in that positive space.
Making the decision to choose positivity
I often talk about having a positive mindset. And how the mind controls your life, how you feel about yourself and about others. Your mindset is what creates your life.
But what exactly does it mean to have a positive mindset anyway? For me… A positive Mindset comes from Making a Conscious & Continuous Decision to Choose Positivity.
Let’s break that down.
A conscious decision means you are paying attention to your thoughts and emotions. You are aware of them, and when your thoughts go to a negative place, you notice, and a little alarm goes off. Ding – ding – ding!! This is a negative place, let’s get out the negative thoughts and put positivity back into the mind.
This type of thinking is continuous because we are faced with difficult situations every day. It’s not like you can choose positivity once and that’s it. That would be really nice actually but life doesn’t work that way. Stuff is always happening that causes us to question ourselves and others.
Every time something happens we have a choice of how to think and feel. It’s human to go to the negative place but you don’t have to stay there. Make the conscious & continuous decision to choose positivity in these situations. Keep your mindset positive.
When I move from negative to positive thoughts, it feels like a weight is lifted. Or like I’m out of the negative sticky mud and into a peaceful clear blue sea of positivity.
When the winner was announced…
When the award winner was announced I was honestly delighted for my friend who won. She truly deserves the award. She has a wonderful community around her and her blog brings happiness to so many people.
While I did have the negative feelings I talked about above, I also had the positive feelings of love, happiness, and gratitude. I am very grateful to have made the final to four blog awards. I am grateful to my community for voting for me and for the kind comments people have been sending me.
When the negative thoughts come in, I choose to focus on the positive instead.
I am making a conscious and continued decision moment by moment to choose positivity. Not to judge myself or others. And to not focus on whether or not others judge me.
Honestly, it doesn’t always work. I get angry and frustrated and lose the cool sometimes. But I have found that the more I focus on positivity the less that happens. And when it does happen, I am able to bounce back to a positive place much easier and faster.
I don’t dwell on situations or people that have upset me. I find I can move on easier.
24 Hour No Complaint Challenge
I started my blog with the aim to spread positivity. Along the way, I started working with brands and at times when I am busy I have lost sight of my own goals and own message on Cuddle Fairy.
I have been wanting to run another 24 Hour No Complaint Challenge for months but keep not getting around to it.
I think this is the perfect time to go for it! I’ve never felt so focused or so aware of what it means to make the decision to be positive, to have a positive mindset.
The challenge is simiply to not complain for 24 hours. That means no gossiping or giving out about people, places or situations. And not thinking badly about yourself either.
I took my first challenge about four years ago and it was the first time I started to focus on a positive mindset. I couldn’t believe how many times my mind went to a complaint in 24 hours. The challenge made me aware of my thoughts and that was the first step to choosing a positive mindset. If you’d like, you can read more about it on my 24 Hour No Complaints post from 2016.
I ran a no complaints challenge nearly two years ago and a lot of the people who took part were moved by it. You can read about my & their experiences in my – Day of Positivity post.
I ran it on Twitter that time and ironically that was the day Twitter went down! What were the chances? I think it was an extra challenge for no complaints day!
During the challenge, I shared positive quotes on Twitter & groups of 5 were together to encourage each other and discuss how the challenge was going for them.
This time around, I have created a Facebook community where we can all share the experience together. The community will be a positive space with like-minded people where we can support each other and hold a positive space for each other.
This challenge will just be a starting point for the positive support we can give each other in the group. I hope you will join my new community, and give positivity a try.
A positive mindset is what tells us to try, to go for it, to live without regrets. Don’t worry about failures, think about the chances you miss when you don’t even try. Then go try.